Short and Sweet..well .. not so sweet haha

Sorry I have been MIA this last week... my folks are here and I have wanted to spend some extra time with them..and my job has been extremely busy as well...  the stress at work shows on the scale too =(  Had a gain this week..of a few pounds.  I also found I really like the new caramel frappe at McD's...that is temptation in a cup let me tell you.. haha  My crunk class has also been very disappointing lately..  I miss my Jam on Thursdays at lunch..Denise and Felicia really know how to crank it up.

Well.. it is past my bedtime..and my brother and his family are coming this weekend..so I won't get a chance to catch up this weekend.. but I promise I will catch up soon..

60 pounds to Onederland...and Spinning... =)

Well - hope you like the new look of my blog =)  I have been wanting to make it a little more playful and cute.. I like the monkies ~ they make me smile... hope they made you smile too  =)

Well  I gained a pound and a half this week ~ not the best way to start off my new beginning..lol  But that's ok.. it's all good.. I am going to get there.  I realized today that so far I had lost 60 pounds on this journey (yes I gained a few back.. not going to focus on that now) and I have 60 pounds to go until I hit ONEderland..  and then appx another 60 before I hit my final goal... pretty cool!  I can't wait to get to Onderland.. have not seen that far far away place in a LONGGGG time and man..have I missed it!!

I decided this week that maybe my body was getting a little too used to the same o same o activities that I have been doing.. so I thought I might need to swap it up a bit and maybe throw it for a loop.  I have been doing Body Step..Body Jam.. traded Body Pump for my free weights that my trainer started me on..sooo today I started a new class.  I tried spinning for the first time.  WOW!  I had a friend tell me my "no no" parts would really be hurting when I got done - and good grief she was not kidding!!  I thought my legs would burn.. or my backside would be sore (and who knows what tomorrow morning might bring haha) but surprisingly - they did not... but my "no no" was hurting so bad by the end of the ride it was unreal!!  Several people have told me by the time I do the 3rd class - all of that will have gone away and it won't bother me at all... I am going to stick it out and see what happens... but if it doesn't get better - there is no way I could endure this kind of pain several times a week - every week.. CrAzY!  lol

Well - guess I need to head to bed - get my Z's  =)

Live..Laugh..Love.. and BodyJam
Cassi

Hey Hey It's Friday *happy dance*

Sorry for the delay in posting this week all - it has not been a happy week on the scale.. but life in general is good =)  I didn't gain alot - but I did gain.  I have decided that starting this next week (on Tuesday since that is my "weigh day")  I am going to start weighing in as if I am starting at the beginning again - and not worry about a "total weight loss" right now.  I think that is one of the things which has gotten me depressed and has kind of kept me veering off track here and there is the fact that I gained some weight back over Christmas..so I have kind of been trying to get BACK to that weight before I really started saying..ok now I have lost THIS much..  and because it is taking me a while - I have gotten down and depressed and fallen off the wagon more than once lately.   

SO.. no more looking back - forward march from here!  =)    My folks made it into town and they will be here over the next month at least... until my BIG bday anyway.  That may be another thing that has really taken a toll on me - that date looming over my head.  When I began this joourney a little over a year ago now- I really wanted to look FABULOUS for my 40th bday.  Unfortunately - I have not quite reached the fabulous mark yet and that stinks.  But - I am not giving up - I will get there.  Wish I could lose as fast as some of these men I see on some of the blogs I am following...  it just amazes me how much faster men can lose! 

I also want to know how alot of these other folks that blog have SOOOO many followers...  I love the folks that do follow me, but it would rock my world if I could somehow up that number - and I have no idea how they do that..maybe they are just more interesting writers  haha

On that note.. I am going to close out for now - catch up with you all soon!

Live..Laugh..Love and BodyJam!
Cassi

Spring Spring Spring

What beautiful glorious days we have been having...I love it!  The scale was finally good to me again this week!  Yeah!  Also started a new release in BodyJam (52)  and it is Fab U Lous!!  =) 

This is going to be a short post because I am multi-tasking at work (shame shame) and I am afraid if I spend too much time online here - it won't be long and I will come in one day and this site too will be "blocked"  haha 

I had to share with you all the most fabulous thing that has happened to me in a while tho... I had told one of my friends when I began this journey that part of my goal was that I wanted to lose weight..get fit and feel great - but I wanted to go thru such an awesome physical transformation that I would be able to walk up to someone that had not seen me in a few years and they would not know me.  Well ~ today I had a message from a friend that I had sent a friend request on Facebook... she said " I have been trying to figure out where I know you from... your name seems familar, but I can't place you"  I had worked with this person a number of years ago and my last name had changed since we knew one another.  I explained to her who I was and how I knew her - she said " ohhhh wow!  You have lost ALOT of weight haven't u? You look sooo different!"    YEAH!!!  I love that....  sooo I am on my way!!

Live, Laugh and Body Jam!
Cassi

Julie Hadden - Biggest Loser Inspiration =)

Well - the scale was not nice to me again today.. still headed in the wrong direction =(  But we all know whose fault that is.. Is it the scales fault?? YES!!  haha  noooo... it is MINE..all MINE...  but alas.. I digress..once again.  I am however, trying really hard to get back in the groove for good and quit jumping on and off again like a crazy train!  I really really wanted to look MUCH different in my bathing suit this year - but I am not going to have that rockin hot bod I wanted to have by this time..  *sigh*  Anyway.. today I want to share an excerpt from a book I am reading called "Fat Chance" by Julie Hadden. Julie was on Season 4 of the Biggest Loser TV show in 2006 and later wrote this book to share her experiences there and how it has impacted her life since.  I am really not very far into the book yet - but it has had some really good chapters thus far.  I am going to take a few pages word for word and put them here (yes people..I know that is plageourism or however u spell that..haha  but I AM giving her credit before I copy it..) because I have really been struggling with staying on track lately and these few pages hit me DEAD ON today...  so here goes:

Daring to Lose the Weight...
If part of life experience is acknowledging the weight we were never intended to carry, then the other part is learning it is possible to lay it down.

Hebrews 12:1 says,"Therefore,since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." I had read that verse a dozen times before, but I'd never noticed how relevant it is to the process of losing weight.

What finally enabled me to start visualizing the "me I would be" was the practice of thinking about contestants from The Biggest Loser seasons previous to mine. I'd think about  the players who had gone before me and who had endeared themselves to me by their hard work and their determination to honor their goals. And I'd think about the dramatic transformation they'd known as a result of refusing to quit. It was yet one more example of my being accidentally biblical in my approach to life. Without intending to, I'd crafted my own "cloud of witnesses" that could inspire me and push me and see me through to the end.

For once, I could see the Julie that God intended me to be, the less burdened woman who had been hiding within. For once, I felt my body changing and those extra weights melting away. For once, I was doing it - I was actually finishing what I had started.

For once.

My newfound appreciation for that verse in Hebrews has caused me now to believe that everyone can throw off the extraneous things weighing her down. The writer of that verse didn't approach the idea timidly. It's not like he said,"You know, give it a little thought, and if it seems like a good idea to you, then maybe get rid of your weight."

Far from it.It's more like,"Get the weight gone, girl. Get it gone!" Remember the great cloud of witnesses. And throw off what hinders and entangles you. Think about who's gone before you, and choose now to lay down your weight.

I originally wanted to be on The Biggest Loser because I thought it was going to be fun. I wanted to be the cute, peppy, happy-go-lucky girl who made everything cheery and everyone laugh. But I got there and realized that the joke was on me. You see yourself differently when you are forced to acknowledge your weight, and ultimately to lay it all down. I felt crippled in every way while I was on campus: At various points along the journey, it seemed I'd been stripped of every form of support - emotional, physical, spiritual and more. But it would take being broken in every possible way before I'd agree to get my weight gone.

And so it is with that verse in Hebrews 12. The instructions found there only work when you stumble upon a crossroads and dare to take the riskier path. For me, that crossroads was the intersection of streets named Big Change and Big Forever. Would I embark on "big change" or would I settle for being "big forever"? Which path would I choose?

My self talk went something like this: "Decide today that you want this change badly enough to pursue the person you deserve to be, or say to yourself right now that you're going to be content with being fat every day for the rest of your life."

I was thirty-five years old and facing a do-or-die situation. Which path should I choose?



Those words from Julie could not have come on a better day for me...  big change or big forever?? I don't want to be big forever... if I did - I never would have begun this journey.  I already have a few "clouds of witnesses" that inspire me every day..whether they realize it or not.  I have Tyler - whose blog at http://www.344pounds.com/ inspired me to start the blog you are now reading.. and whose weight loss and own story are absolutely phenomonal! I have Nancy - my "gym buddy" who I met at the gym and has turned into one of my really good friends and is always encouraging and says the greatest things..exactly when I need her to!  My parents - who have always encouraged me.. no matter what.. even when I don't feel like getting out of bed.. much less hitting the gym  LOL  My beautiful boy.. tho he has NO clue that he keeps me going!!  My friend Cynthia (who I also met at the gym) this chic looks soo friggin amazing!! She has lost over 100 lbs in the past year and she always has an encouraging word for me!  My trainer..Jim - who I will always know as Jerry (insider) keeps me on my toes and works hard to keep me on track! My friend Belinda - who goes to work out with me at lunch - there have been lots of days I would not have gone if she had not been there with me! My friend Melissa is always very encouraging.. and I absolutely could never have made it thru without my Jam partner Jason!!  or my awesome instructors/friends... Felicia, Ashita and Michelle..Stephanie and Sue... those girls ROCK!!!   And Miss Dayna - who I can always count on to leave me a comment or two =) I am also hugely encouraged by all the other awesome bloggers I follow here... there are some incredible folks online.. you should check them out!  Thanks to ALLLLL of you!!

Live..Laugh..Love..and YESSSSSSSS  BODYJAM!!  =)
Cassi

A few steps forward.. huge leaps BACK =(

It's not THAT bad.. really... but some days it feels like it  haha  I gained this week  UGH..  I have to say I was expecting it as I ate like a mad woman this weekend..  I ate enough bread for 10 people...WHY do I do that?? I know good and well when I am popping it into my mouth that it is going to end up on my hips and thighs and show as a gain on that scale - but OMG it tastes soooo good... I just eat it anyways  lol  I want to get that "gym rat" attitude back and bust that scale wide open!!  haha  I can not WAIT to get back to ONEderland and stay there!!  But the more the scale seems to go up and down and up and down.. it worries me that this will be a "forever fight".  I  really don't want to fight this forever..yanno.  I always told myself that if I EVER got to where I wanted to be weight wise - I would NEVER be fat again.. because I hate being this way and I would just not let myself go like that again.  But I have to be honest here... I friggin LOVE food...and I have experienced just how EASY it is to gain 3 - 5 pounds back in a WEEK... a week people... not a month.. or a quarter...  a week!!  Do you know how depressing that is?? It really scares me...

On a different note..in my last post I had noted that I was beginning to see a very slight definition in my  arms..  One poster suggested that I take some pics and document my progress of my arms along the way.  I have to admit - I was not crazy about that idea..because honestly I think my upper arms look like wings instead of arms lol  But I did take some pics.. not sure if or when I will post them..  but I have to say - I was actually impressed somewhat when I looked at them.  At least - the one from the back... not with my arms - but with my overall siloutte.  I can really see a difference in my overall frame =)  That was good to see..  I am going to continue taking similar pics and may post some here from time to time. 

Ok..  about to head to bed..  need my rest to keep me going and stay healthy =)

Live..Laugh..Love
Cassi

need more momentum....

I am back on track...for the most part..lol  But I seriously need to see the numbers on the scale decreasing steadily...I lost this week..  but barely a pound.  I would give anything to see some higher numbers more consistently again.  I mean.. it is not like I am NEAR my goal weight and just need to lose that last 10 pounds. I have over 100 pounds to go..   I try to look at smaller goals and not get too discouraged by looking at the "big picture" so to speak - but it is really hard not to. 

On a good note... I am just starting to see the slight beginnings of some definition in my arms. It is not much - mind you..and most other people would probably not even notice... but seeing as how for me my upper arms, inner thighs and belly are my trouble spots as far as I am concerned.. I can tell =)  It will rock when the wings start to fade and become muscles rather than flabby skin  haha  but I am sure that will be a good while in coming. 

Well.. I will probably write more during the week..or on the weekend..but I have not been sleeping well and am very very tired.  I think I am going to turn it in...  later all..

Live, Laugh and Love
Cassi